Stories of Adults In this compelling collection of first-person stories, adults who have made outstanding achievements in adult literacy were paired with writers to tell of their transition to reading. These are people who have had the courage to overcome the barrier of words to break into a broader sense of themselves, to feel more empowered in the world. Courageous, too, is the very sharing of these stories, in which private moments are opened wide with the hope that others will take the same steps.
Whether confronting undiagnosed dyslexia, a Canadian Tire store manager to ensure Christmas for a child, written tests for the military, certification exams, or jumping from an airplane, these people are heroes. Visit Seller's Storefront. Any book may be returned for any reason. If not as described we will pay shipping both ways. We accept Visa, Mastercard and Paypal. Thank you for your business.
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Shipping costs are based on books weighing 2. If your book order is heavy or oversized, we may contact you to let you know extra shipping is required. Used Condition: Very Good. Save for Later. About this Item Former Library book. Great condition for a used book! Minimal wear. About this title Synopsis: In this compelling collection of first-person stories, adults who have made outstanding achievements in adult literacy were paired with writers to tell of their transition to reading.
She starts throwing fits, saying things aren't right, or starting a fight with her brother and trying to get him in trouble. They work in tandem--when she's being the aggressor, he will go to his mom and demonstrate good behaviour. When the drama has blown over, he will start a fight with his sister.
Since foster care, the kids have told us on several occasions that nobody can punish them because they're foster kids. They have lied to authorities about their new stepfather an honestly nice guy with a background of neglect --these accusations were thoroughly researched and found to be untrue.
The kids behave when he's home, and they say they love him and they love their mom, but when they are alone with their mom, things change. She might sit and color with them, and then go to cook dinner, and they'll start a fight so that she has to leave her chores and come yell at them. They bait her, she falls into it, they rise to the occasion to hurt her feelings, and then they settle down when their dad comes home.
I was on the phone with her for an hour today, and with them, and with her again, while they were supposed to stay in bed and they would not. They did everything they could think of to control the situation, handing the phone back and forth between each other, screaming when the other was on the phone, and trying to hug their mom and say they were sorry, not because they were necessarily but because they wanted to control the situation.
The girl's school wants her to start seeing a counselor, which should be a good idea but you probably know that it depends on the counselor. My granddaughter is a really very talented storyteller and I am always nervous when a new authority becomes involved. A lot of damage can be done before they get wise to her game. I'm not trying to paint them as demons nor my daughter as an innocent victim. I am trying to describe the situation as it actually is and see if anyone has a suggestion as to what the adults in the family can do to regain control before something truly awful happens.
Shaming a child does long term damage. It's like a sucker punch to the child's chest. It feels terrible. Parents need to be very careful and ask themselves why they are compelled to say something derisive to their child. Then look inside of themselves to find out how it seems to be making them feel better. Then admit, it's about themselves and not the child. Otherwise they can lose their child after they grow up. And never see them again. Kindness is very important when dealing with children. Humiliating them is a sting that can last a lifetime. I was shamed many times in public by my mother.
She would blurt out personal information or things I did to give her such a hard time. I was always "hopeless" or "stupid. She is a full blown narcissist and has no empathy skills, none! I have two kids and I often struggle with "am I doing the right thing? This article represents the story of my life!!! I never realized where the negative tapes in my head came from. Well, I knew but no one pointed it out as vividly. I You have connected the dots and I thank you for that!!!
I am now 63 years of age and I can recall the shaming and the abuse as if it was yesterday!
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I have tried my best to overcome the shame and fear but it has a legacy. It has proliferated every area of my life. If it wasn't for the Lord I know I would not be here. Father's Day, What Father's Day? By Joseph Goldberg, This is an important article for Grandfathers as well as for fathers. I am spoofing the title of this article from a good friend of mine, Chaim Steinberger. I decided to write about this holiday because many father's will be hurting when it arrives.
They won't be getting to see their child or receive a call or any cards or any other acknowledgement because their children are alienated and that means come Sunday they'll be rejected for very unjustified reasons. For some dad's who will be waiting to see their kid because a court order forces them to go, don't be surprised when they show up- only to tell you they don't want to be with you or only to say," I hate you " I am writing my article just for fathers and for grandfathers, but the rest of you will hopefully also appreciate the message.
Your kids do love you, and you're not forgotten because Sunday, is also a very painful holiday reminder for them. It's painful to them to be without you because every- where they go and see a father with his son or, with his daughter; laughing, hugging, or kissing, smiling at each other, going out to lunch together, to dinners or a movie, driving together, talking on a cell phone, texting, meeting up somewhere, it reminds them that it's also not them being with you. Every time they turn on their TV that day, flip open their computer, listen to the radio, they will hear that it's Father's Day, and every time they pass by a store there will be an item for sale saying it's Father's Day, and they didn't get you your present.
It's a psycho- logical skeleton. Denial is a fixated condition for alienated children, so is breathing. Memories of love for father are never really erased they're just buried below the surface and those memories will resurface on this Sunday, Father's Day. Take comfort in the fact that your picture may not be in a frame next to their bed or on the wall in their mom's house, but they are not deleted from their memory. It is also hard to ignore mother trying to pretend how much better off they are without you, while the look on her face also reminds them she can't be the father they're missing out on today.
No matter what stepfather tries to take your place after you got replaced, displaced and erased, nothing is ever going to hold back their feelings of loss because they're connected to their father when they see themselves in a mirror.
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Some likeness of you is something in their DNA that they can see in their own face. Not only are there painful memories there are probably more than a few good ones. Like the time you took them to a show, or watched them at a school performance, or played some game with them, played with your pet, took them to visit your parents, cooked a meal for them, these memories are also resurfacing around them. Imagine how it must feel for them to watch their friends getting together with their dads and how they have to explain or avoid talk- ing about you not being around on Father's Day.
Imagine anyone else trying to act as a substitute for the father they are missing in their lives and never saying,. How is their behaviour going to be memorial- ized in the future? Father's Day, is something I feel long after my own father has passed away. You don't have to actually be around to be remembered and to be loved. I don't need to feel bad about the father's day I am not spending with him this Sunday, I will be thinking about all the good times with my dad and I know that your child- ren might want you to believe that they don't love you back, but that's just denial talking.
You're as much a part of their life as you have ever been even more so and not because of being present, but because of being absent. Believe it because we know from all the social science research that this is truly how alienated children are feeling. I feel my father is with me now even though he passed more than 15 years ago.
I was alienated from him by a mother that extinguished him from my life, but not forever. We made up for all the lost time and years of alienation that was stolen from us both. In the Jewish religion when a loved parent dies we say prayers, Kaddish, and we light a candle in memory of the parent. Perhaps as a way to remember that you are still a parent you should light a candle and keep it burning all day, on Father's Day.
Say a prayer of love, memorialize your feelings of loss and perhaps to help be forgiving so anger does not take over the better part of judgment in your life. As a targeted, rejected parent remember the good parts of the person you are and remain and strive to lift yourself up, don't let any- thing change that belief in your-self because sometimes all we have is ourselves to believe in, and in truth that's the one person whose opinion counts the most.
For more educational information please visit www. My father would scream and humiliate me in public often. He'd cuss me out and shake me in front of others. We we threatened with whippings and so forth in front of others and often had it happen. It was not all that bad I don't think. I agree with the blog author, absolutely. There is no good reason to shame and humiliate a child, it really is the verbal equivalent of a blow to the stomach. It can be as sadistic as physical torture.
I and my younger Sister grew up enduring this form of abuse from our borderline pd mother rather often. Even as a preschooler I was called an "ingrate", "lazy", "stupid", "clumsy", "weird" and "repulsive. Sister was most often called "liar.
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Thank you to the author for this wake-up call. It alarms me how mainstream abusive parenting is. Both of my parents shamed me constantly. My father told me that I am lucky I was born before Roe V Wade because I would be a piece of trash in a biohazard bin. My mother always asks what she did to deserve a kid like me. The way I talk to myself if I make even a small mistake is frightening. You should kill yourself.
You may as well kill yourself now so you won't burden everyone around you. Dear Anonymous please start being kind to yourself and to that little person who was so badly treated and not shown the love they needed. Start showing yourself that love, kindness and compassion now. You don't need to continue the abuse where your parents left off. Remember you have choices now. As a child you didn't have a choice but as an adult you do. Each time you criticise yourself stop in your tracks and replace it with the kindness and understanding that you need and deserve.
It's not your fault that your parents were dysfunctional - you were an innocent child. I understand how you feel. Take care.
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Please know that these messages came from deeply wounded people and you did not deserve them. I am so sad and angry to read the words that were said to you. It is just not right to wound a child in this way. As a long-time teacher, I have seen teachers and administrators use shame discipline to keep their students in line. I think it's important that new teachers are informed about the damage this can cause and, most importantly, taught alternate ways to encourage students to listen and learn.
I too often heard my mother say "we're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you" except of course that i wasn't laughing. No matter what, I was always "bad" I was blamed for doing things that I never did usually things my father did, but she couldn't allow her ideal love for him to be tainted so it was transferred onto me I guess. I eventually learned to just take it and not resist. Now I'm 35 and I can't take it anymore so I allowed my phone to be shut off.
I switched to a new email but I still check my old one due to necessity and I see her emails. I feel like an awful person for trying to break off contact once and for all I don't know if I can do it. For too long I told myself I deserved it but obviously no child or adult deserves that kind of treatment. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Best wishes to those who also struggle with all of this, it really is like hell on earth, isn't it. You should be able to block her emails, or perhaps send them to a folder, so you don't see them and get triggered.
You're not an awful person - you're trying to get mentally healthy, and she's not healthy for you. Maybe when you're better stronger? I don't feel good or bad, I just don't want to be on the receiving end anymore or dish it out, because I'm used to it , so I keep relatives like this at very long arms distance.
Good luck! Most parents mean well but because of their ignorance they are like poison to their children. Sad thing that. But the good news is that eventually people will stop being so lazy and do the work that is necessary to find out the tricky answers to what doesn't inflict misery. It's not an easy thing to learn how to not stick a knife in your arm. Karyl McBride, Ph. Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. Back Psychology Today.
Back Find a Therapist. Back Get Help. Back Magazine. Subscribe Issue Archive. Back Today. The Positives of Dyslexia. Twilight of the Stanford Prison Experiment. Internal Memes: Parasites and Predators of the Mind. Karyl McBride Ph. Follow me on Twitter. Friend me on Faceook. Connect with me on LinkedIn. Randy, I could cry for your Submitted by ronnie on August 15, - pm. Wow, did toy miss the mark.
You should have read at least the first paragraph. Shame on you. Do you know that Saint Paul the Apostle wrote twice: one time in the Epistle to the Ephesians and the other time in the Epistle to the Colossians about the importance of never provoking one's progeny to wrath anger : St Paul wrote: "You fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but raise them in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Signed: Loretta. Again, to the lady who didn not read the article. Submitted by Loretta on September 20, - pm.
Sorry if I snapped too quickly at you. Do I shame? Submitted by Js on October 24, - am. Submitted by Anonymous on September 11, - am. It is not the subtitle of the Submitted by Anonymous on September 16, - pm. So true! I know what it's like Submitted by Anonymous on November 3, - am. Dear anon. Otherwise your post sounds nice. Submitted by mais on September 11, - pm. The corollary Submitted by Kelly on September 11, - pm. Corollary Submitted by Loretta on September 20, - pm. Thanks for your post! I'm struggling with this right now Submitted by Anonymous on September 24, - pm.
I have recently found a Submitted by Anonymous on October 1, - pm. This describes me Submitted by Penny on May 18, - am. I'll tell you what a Submitted by Coloratura on September 6, - pm. Struggled but overcoming Submitted by Coloratura on September 6, - pm. What about the reverse? Submitted by Anonymous on December 18, - pm. Shaming a child does long Submitted by Anonymous on January 7, - pm.
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True, that. Thank you for posting. My father would scream and Submitted by Hari on June 24, - am. We we threatened with Submitted by Anonymous on August 6, - pm. I agree: where there is fear there can be no love Submitted by Annie on August 7, - pm. Thank You! Submitted by tiffany on September 5, - am. Both of my parents shamed me Submitted by Anonymous on October 1, - pm.
Both of my parents shamed me Submitted by Anonymous on October 20, - pm. I am so sorry to hear this and angry that you experience it Submitted by Kris on February 12, - am.
Teachers need to remember this too Submitted by Heather on October 30, - pm.